A girl in a boy's world: A wolf in sheeps clothing?

In my next paper, I will research and explore my experience as a girl growing up on a farm.  My personal experiences went against the grain of traditional gender roles.  The farming literacy, primarily vocabulary, and overall lifestyle affected the way I interacted with my peers while growing up.  Girls are supposed to be clean and dainty, I was rough and rugged and wasn’t afraid to get dirty.  Girls in my elementary class were talking about girl scouts and slumber parties, I was talking about baling hay and spreading manure.

Starting when I was merely 4 years old, I was required to help my dad on our farm.  We raised pigs, cows, chickens and ducks on our small farm in rural Iowa.  Farming and most outdoor chores are usually considered “men’s work”.  My dad often commented that I was supposed to be a boy, but since I was a girl, I had to become both.  As I grew up on the farm, I actually became “one of the guys”.  Every night after school, I was responsible for cleaning out the little homes of each group of pigs.  On weekends, I helped my dad with a plethora of various tasks including: splitting and carrying firewood, and many other heavy lifting tasks. 

My dad often had some extra help from the son of one of his friends. His name was Evan. I found myself in constant competition with Evan to be a better son for my dad than he was.  The only problem with this is that I was a girl.  I had to learn how to be a boy in my dad’s eyes (I thought) to get his approval and attention.  All the while, I had to figure out how to be a girl to fit in at school. 

Simultaneously I was becoming literate in Barbie’s and tractors, playing house and rounding up the hogs, decorating cakes and baling hay. If I was wearing dresses and playing with Barbie dolls and then coming home from school and changing into jeans and gum boots, one of my identities was a fraud, right? Could I really be both? Is there room for more than one Primary Discourse? More than one primary identity?

For my paper I will discuss my experiences and differing social discourses.  I will incorporate research about gender roles and the effects on children. (I’d even like to consider why I wanted to buy my son a swing this weekend, but refused because they only had a pink on, and I COULDN’T POSSIBLY BUY MY SON A PINK SWING.  Where does that come from?!)  

I can connect my experiences as a girl fitting in with the boys to my current success working with all men at my husband’s business (a gun shop).  I once again find myself in a situation of learning the language of a culture women don’t quite belong to (yet).